I’ve always been a “night owl”. I recall
that as a boy, I would sit at the bottom of the stairs where the night light
was on and read the bible. Everyone else was asleep, but I was up and reading.
In a family of twelve, it was the only time things got quiet and one could
concentrate.
For a couple of years now, I’ve had a really hard time sleeping; or
rather getting to sleep. My mind races with thoughts from the day and what I
need to do tomorrow, my legs bother me and I have a rash which was diagnosed as
psoriasis (but is really due to the Diabetes) and it itches. In aggregate, all
of these things mean that many nights I get only about four hours of sleep and
then start my twelve hour day over again at work.
Now that I have Diabetes, my body can’t deal
with the lack of quality sleep. I’m not the same person I was before and it has
become unhealthy for me physically and psychologically. The lack of sleep has
been making me depressed and less able to deal effectively with the demands of
the day and living with this disease.
I consulted my doctor, who wanted to
prescribe an anti-depressant. I was hesitant to have this drug because of the stigma
I have in my mind about the term “anti-depressant” which said to me in my
internal-speak: “Hey, cry baby, you
should be able to deal with life. Why the heck do you need a drug like this?!
You’ll be marked in your files as like crazy or something.” In addition, we’ve all heard the stories about
people taking anti-depressant drugs who start doing crazy things or committing
suicide.
When I expressed my concerns to my doctor,
she said that the dose was small, there is no interaction with the other drugs
I’m taking, she believed this would help and the stigma was all in my head; a
huge number of people use this class of drug to help with all sorts of
issues. So, I told her I would try them…
and I did…
I’m happy to report that they’re working
great! The very first night (I take one
at bedtime), I slept long and well. The second night I slept very hard and
deep. I awoke this morning really in much better shape than I’ve been in weeks
thanks to my doctor’s expertise and this drug.
I’m sure everyone has a different
experience, but for me, these have helped me deal with the tiredness and to get
the quality rest I need to deal with this disease more effectively. I have another appointment in two weeks where
I will say – “Thank you Doc! This was one
of the better outcomes, and it’s making things better for me and my life.”
